Excited but….

Excited for my trip tomorrow but I’m feeling sick. I guess I wanna say
Hi, I have an autoimmune disease and it sucks. It sucks for your own body to turn on itself and self destruct. When I was younger it was harder to grasp that. I would think – hey – if my body doesn’t even want to live, why should I? It really took a toll on my already strained mental health. Depression led to more frequent suicidal ideation. It took a while for me to really accept my chronic condition and to find ways to cope with it. If you or someone you know out there is struggling – with anything really – be kind and patient. We can get through this 🙂   

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Dreams

Dreams are hard to come by

Falling
Tripping
Stumbling

Life does what it can Continue reading

I’m Back: The Clinging Grasp of Depression

It has been about four months since I’ve last updated. The last time I made a post it was about my decision to go gluten and soy-free. Up until now I would say I have been successful at cutting gluten out of my diet. Soy on the other hand, I have found to be a lot more challenging. Mainly because I tend to love Asian food which often contains varying soy products and second, because many things contain soy in one form or the other. However, I have done my best to reduce my soy intake by a significant margin.  Continue reading

Life with Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis: Going Gluten and Soy-Free

Today, I’ve finally decided that starting tomorrow, October 15th, I’m going gluten and soy-free. I haven’t been feeling well at all these past few days. My thyroid has been quite swollen and more inflamed lately. It aches and throbs. I feel fatigued and confused. I’m moody and down. Pretty much I’m not feeling my best at this moment.

In the past few years of having my diagnosis, I’ve done some skimming of articles on the internet concerning the kind of diet that someone with Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis should implement. The most common foods to avoid in the articles I’ve read were soy and soy products, as well as, gluten and goitrogenic foods. Even though I had this knowledge, I have always felt that the research wasn’t definite and conclusive. I was skeptical. Still, I did choose to avoid those foods for the most part without actually cutting them out.

Recently however, I’ve been consuming more soy than I have in recent years. Coincidentally, my inflammatory response has flared up. While I can just spend my days in my blanket burrito watching “New Girl” on Netflix waiting for the pain to subside and get on with my life, I really don’t want to do just that. I have so many big dreams and visions for myself that I feel that if I allow myself to give up- even just a little- I would feel as if I’d let myself down as well as the people I could have potentially reached out to.

So I need to take an active part in the battle that rages within me. The battle of self against self.

At times I feel as if my illness is a metaphor for the bigger picture of life. Your biggest enemy will always be yourself. You will always be the first person in your way.

So, tomorrow, I’m taking the plunge.
Tomorrow I cut Gluten and Soy from my diet.
One day at a time.

I wish you all luck with your own journeys.

Until next time,
Sarah M.

Life With Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis: The Fear

Will I be able to accomplish my goals and reach my dreams?

The doubt, the fear – it lingers.

As positive as I like to keep my head-space – there is always that creeping thought that I will not be able to accomplish anything. My illness will win the fight. Or at least weaken me to the point that my dreams slip from my fingers.

I have this random white patch that is becoming more and more apparent as the weeks go by and I can’t help but think it might be early vitiligo. A lot of sources I’ve read pointed out a connection between vitiligo and thyroid disorders as well as autoimmune disorders. I really wonder what it is. I need to get it checked out before my anxiety kicks in.

Since Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis is an autoimmune disease – there is an even greater chance for me to get other autoimmune diseases. Autoimmune diseases such as Type 1 diabetes, Rheumatoid arthritis, lupus, and MS, to name a few.

While I don’t think about it a lot, it haunts me.

It’s taking me so long to adjust and wrap my head around just one, I don’t even know what I’d do if more were to come my way. I couldn’t even handle an all-nighter the other day. I ended up getting a fever, burning body aches that left me screaming in my sleep for my mother and an extra swollen thyroid.

But I want to be a doctor, I really do.

So, I’m going to suck it up, take care of myself and continue to march on.

Life With Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis: Lethargy At Its Worst

One thing about Hashimoto’s that I absolutely dislike is the lethargy, the fatigue. My goodness. I’ve been sleeping so much these past few days and I still feel so tired. My eyelids are so heavy and I just feel this intense need to drift away.

This intense fatigue has gotten me quite addicted to caffeine (preferably in the form of coffee.) But since it’s summer time and I’m off from school I try my best to refrain from drinking anything caffeinated. I like to give my body a break and as well as wear down my tolerance so it’s more effective during my semester.

But I’m so tired.

I wish this would stop.

Is there anything other than coffee that can wake me up?

If anyone has a suggestion, please, don’t be shy to let me know below.
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